Sunday, 14 August 2016
So here we are now well into August and the summer rapidly disappearing before our very eyes. Soon the long hot days will give way to the golden browns of autumn before winter finally and inevitably holds the land tightly in its silent, blue death grip.
The summer for me has been great. The “watch and wait” decision after my last CT scan freed me from the shackles of Pseudomyxoma for a few brief months and I have grabbed the opportunity with both hands.
We have had some great days out as a family, walking in the Forest of Dean and in the Mendip hills. Days at the seaside at Weston Super Mare and meeting family for rounders on Frenchay common. We have met friends for drinks by the river and attended local festivals. We have a week off soon with lots more great days out planned and Tracey and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary at the end of the month!
The Forest of Dean
For the first time in a while I have had no health issues hanging over me. My back has recovered well from the operation nearly a year ago and the fourth anniversary of my second de-bulking surgery at Basingstoke hospital has just passed.
Since January I have been swimming 1000m twice a week on my lunch break and only in the last few days been given the OK by by GP to try some running again. I’ve enjoyed days out fishing, relaxing in my favourite spot on a beautiful quiet lake just up the road. My little bit of paradise. I’m ready to return to some proper caving. I feel well, I feel alive, I feel like my old self before Psuedomyxoma.
My little piece of paradise.
But part of me feels like I’m living a lie. I’m reluctant to let myself get lured into false hope that things are returning to normal, that I can be normal, that we can live a normal carefree life as a family. Because behind this facade of happy summer days, deep in the darkest recesses sits a 7mm long demon, resting quietly, biding its time, hugging my bile duct.
Who knows how long it will be before we have to tackle this demon head on again? My up coming CT scan in October will no doubt tell us if we can continue to enjoy life or if we once again have to prepare for more treatment. I look around and see so many people around me fighting this disease, some doing well, some not so well and some despite putting up the bravest of fights succumbing to this awful disease;Pseudomyxoma Peritonei.
So for now, with the final throws of summer still to enjoy and with the CT scan in October looming fast its a case of “keep calm and carry on…”. For who knows what the future will hold?